When you find out you’re pregnant, everyone around you may suddenly have something to say. Your partner may have an opinion. Your family may push for a certain outcome. A friend may tell you what they would do. And somewhere in the middle of all those voices, you’re left trying to figure out what you actually want.
Having people who care about you can be a huge source of support, but the ability to make your own decisions is most important. There’s a difference between someone sharing their perspective and someone making you feel like you have no choice.
The Pregnancy Help Center can offer a safe place to talk while you consider your options. We provide confidential appointments where you can explore your options in a non-judgmental environment.
Schedule your appointment today to get started.
Pressure Can Be Subtle
Pressure isn’t always obvious. Sometimes, it shows up in the comments someone keeps making, the expectations they place on you, or the way they respond when you say you’re thinking about something different. You may feel rushed to decide, guilty for considering another option, or like someone’s support depends on you making the choice they want.
Maybe someone keeps telling you that having a baby would derail your life and that abortion is your only realistic option. And sometimes, no one has to say anything at all.
You may be worried about losing your relationship, disappointing your family, or not being able to afford a baby. Those fears can feel very real, but they can also make it harder to separate what you want from what you think you’re supposed to do.
Notice How You Feel About the Decision
Sometimes, your feelings may be a sign that you need more time to think. Pay attention to what happens inside you when you think about abortion or talk about it with someone else.
Do you feel calm enough to consider the decision, or do you feel anxious or overwhelmed? Do you find yourself wondering what you want, or are you mostly thinking about how someone else will react? You may even notice that you avoid saying what you really think because you’re worried about disappointing someone or starting an argument.
These feelings are worth paying attention to. If fear, pressure, or someone else’s expectations are making it difficult to hear your own thoughts, giving yourself space to step back and think about what you want may help.
Watch for Threats, Ultimatums, or Guilt
Some forms of pressure are more direct.
A partner, family member, or someone else may threaten to end a relationship, withdraw financial support, or refuse to help you if you continue the pregnancy. Someone may tell you that you are selfish for considering parenting or try to make you feel responsible for their anger or disappointment.
Statements such as “If you loved me, you would do this” or “I won’t stay if you don’t have an abortion” can make it difficult to feel that you have a genuine choice.
You deserve to be able to consider your options without being threatened, intimidated, or made to feel guilty for having your own feelings about your pregnancy.
If you are concerned that someone may react in a threatening or unsafe way to your decision, help is available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 offers 24/7 private support and resources, or if you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Are You Being Given Space to Think?
An unexpected pregnancy can create a sense of urgency, but feeling rushed by another person is different from understanding that some pregnancy decisions have time-sensitive considerations.
You need to process your emotions, learn about your pregnancy, and understand your options. This can include learning more about parenting, adoption, and abortion, as well as getting information about how your pregnancy is developing with an ultrasound.
If someone is repeatedly demanding that you make a decision immediately or refuses to give you space to think, consider whether you are being given a genuine opportunity to make an informed choice.
Your Decision Should Be Yours
The people who care about you may have strong opinions about your pregnancy. Their experiences and advice can be worth hearing, but they should not replace your own voice.
If you are unsure whether you are being pressured, talking with someone outside the situation may give you a different perspective.
At the Pregnancy Help Center, we can offer a confidential place to talk through what you’re experiencing, explore your options, and connect you with available support.
You deserve respect, compassion, and space while you consider your decision. Get in touch to schedule an appointment at our center today.
The Pregnancy Help Center does not provide or refer for abortions.
